1. |
Haven
02:10
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Hold me in your palm
And close your fingers, keep me from harm
Let me live in your warmth
Until I’m strong again
I may be safe here
But I still feel grey
Eventually I promise
I’ll reach metamorphosis
And if I fly away it’s because
I finally found the strength
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2. |
The Blacktop
02:48
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As time goes by, another name I know goes dark
I’ll offer my condolences and I’m sorry for your loss
You hear it on the news all of the time
Something awful and tragic, but I remember you on the slide
We were all school kids once
When all that we had to fear
Was falling from the monkey bars
Getting laughed at in the dirt
Swinging above the grass
We were holding hands
Trying to touch the clouds
Until we had to come down
I’ll remember you
I’ll remember you
I’ll remember you
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3. |
Lavender
02:36
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Yesterday I glued back together
The frame that fell off the wall
It has been half a year at least
Since I’ve tucked it in the corner
A graveyard of dust settled in its cracks
While waiting to prove its worth
A second chance to fill the blank space it left
Between the botanicals
This year I had high hopes
But all the foothills have grown
Menial mountains appeared
Somehow I’ve ended up here
And I’ve tried my best to get off the ground
But how can I climb when my arms are bound?
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4. |
Clockwork
03:34
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I’m learning to walk forward again
Cuz there’s been a malfunction
The key rotating in my back
Has finally stopped turning
A prisoner of circumstance
Of my own self-doing
From building walls and acting surprised
When I can’t walk through them
We circle back and forth again
Shadowboxing with reflections
Every move is calculated
Falling back in the same patterns
If all it needs is energy
Why do we call it broken?
These coping mechanisms, flawed but still intact,
Are always operating
A cog in a machine
That sometimes goes off track
When I take a step ahead
I end up jumping back
Am I caught in monotony
Or going too fast
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5. |
Fragile Coward
02:36
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I’ve been living in my head
With unwanted guests
The more I ignore them, the more they appear
It’s claustrophobic at its best
There are no boundaries here
Intrusive thoughts have space to roam
Reclaiming my own autonomy has been a grueling process
And it’s a damn burden to carry the weight of it all
Break me down just to build yourself up
A facade of many kinds
Faked insanity just to gain sympathy
You didn’t want us to reveal your guise
There are no gentle hands here
I’ve been pushed far off the deep end
I’m headed full speed to hit rock bottom while spiraling fast, and it’s a damn burden to carry the weight of it all
I carry that weight
The day when gravity falls
You’ll be the first to buckle
You’ve never had to deal with
Any consequence or struggle
As you ripped petals off flowers
They were still beautiful
After pushing through the dirt
to be disposable
When I walked into that garden
I was blinded by roses
I thought that I was safe
But I was cradled in thorns
I thought if I made a home there
It’d start to be comfortable
I learned the hard way not to
put all my weight in a fragile coward
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6. |
Sulk
02:51
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Lately I’ve been slowly sinking
In the crevice between where
My head sits perched upon my body
Everyday I bury deeper
Inhabiting the valleys of my shoulders
The endpoints where my arms begin
Sometimes I will re-emerge and
Stretch my aching limbs so they can
Straighten out and readjust themselves
But when winter comes around again
I will go back into hiding
With a sulking sigh further into the dark
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7. |
For Closure
04:27
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All the endless summers
Spent in the yard
Speakers on the deck
Blasting 90’s hits
I remember the rush
From a cannonball
The hot sun on our skin
Chlorine dew glistening
I’m moving on from my youth
But they can’t take memories away from you
The joy existed even if it’s not there anymore
I wish that I knew they were golden times
That I’d look back on with fondness
Knowing one day it might be the last time
Eventually we had to flee
We lined the street with our possessions and memories
Day by day strangers stalled in their cars out front
I’d peer out the window wondering who they were
They were treasure hunting
Through our garbage cans
Just taking some convenient
Material things
When they drove away the driveway was a mess
There was nothing I could do but watch
When the looters came back
And stole all the windows
We were already gone
But it hurt like we weren’t
I wondered if they ever thought
Of who used to live in this place overgrown with weeds
Or where the crop circle in the yard came from
And that swimming pool
Became a stain in the earth
A path to nowhere
Made of concrete and dirt
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8. |
Summer Sighs
04:12
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I cling on tight when I get too comfortable
And adjusting becomes a buffer
To prolong my attachment until the next moment arrives
A place, a sound, it could be anything
Like watching light bend through a curtain
Looking through a window I can’t see out of anymore
But as summer sighs her last breath into autumn
I can’t help but to feel a bit tender
And I reminisce, to when I was younger
Time was linear and not somber
I yearn for a moment while it is happening because I hate the fact
that nothing is permanent, my life’s passing by
And I can not slow down
Conflating my reality with thoughts of past pleasantries
The sky looks the same but now it feels colder
My hair’s grown longer
And each day feels like it is shorter
I’m stuck in a dream
Of repeating themes
Is this my truth?
Am I projecting?
But as summer sighs her last breath into autumn
I can’t help but to feel a bit tender
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9. |
Heavy Days
02:56
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The first storm of the springtime
The day after bad news hits
My heart felt a kinship with the
dark and angry sky
And my eyes flooded for days
A blanket of gray has covered me
Neither for comfort or support
It’s a heavy weight pressing down with full force
And our frigid sun doesn’t keep me warm anymore
We hold our breath in anticipation
Cuz we’re swimming in a pool of fear
But it shouldn’t be allowed, half of us already drowned
Don’t you know when you scream underwater there’s no sound?
There’s no peace in this kind of silence
Jovial ignorance will stand out in a room
You can try to tune it out but when it gets too loud
You’ll notice people joining in, singing out of tune
I’ve been hiding from the sunshine
Or maybe it’s hiding from me
But If there’s one thing I’m certain of
It’s uncertainty
I just need a second
Cuz my body is fatigued
It’s just hard to keep up with
All of these self-righteous fiends
Nobody talks anymore
We’re all just making noise
To satisfy our need
To feel like we contribute
So go admire yourself
You’ll get your hard earned trophy
For participating in
Speaking but saying nothing
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10. |
Warning Sign
02:42
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Like a siren in the air
The sky dwellers call to us
A sound so sharp and sweet
It shatters the silence
A new kind of dust
Settles on the sidewalks
As the world winds down
With a resounding sigh
It’s a warning sign
On what is to come
And when it is done
Will you still be as trusting?
That what you know
Is how you remember it
Or will you have to question everything?
In a time when we
Are all scared of our neighbors
It’s funny how we all seem
To feel a bit closer to them
Isolation is lonely but
We’re not by ourselves
Tell me what it is
That holds us together?
It’s a warning sign
On what is to come
And when it is done
Will you still be as trusting?
That what you know
Is how you remember it
Or will you have to question everything?
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11. |
Familiar Stranger
03:27
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I wonder if my dreams
Come from whispers in the wall
Secrets kept in old ghosts
As silent observers
We share the same memories of
Walking through the halls
Where floorboards communicate
Through footprints in the dust
We make hidden places our homes
Until we grow bigger than they allow
And leave a legacy worn
In shadows that vanish in absence
We take up the same space
By filling vacancies
Residual markings form
A past identity
Maybe we have all shared
The same lives at one point
Each day like a ritual
We all rise and fall the same
We make hidden places our homes
Until we grow bigger than they allow
And leave a legacy worn
In shadows that vanish in absence (x2)
We make hidden places our homes
Until we grow bigger than they allow
But for now I am safe here
Contained in weathered walls
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12. |
Bitter Optimist
03:58
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There’s a story I’ve been meaning to tell
I’ve been backtracking to see where I had fell
I’ve climbed the highest peaks to get a better view
But it doesn’t get easier the second time to tell the truth
Sometimes falling down is the best part
Losing your balance can bring you some better perspective
When you hit the ground you start to fend for yourself
I’m not giving up or looking back
Just don’t look back
Spent too much time trying to adjust how I’m perceived
I’ve built my foundation based on who I could appease
Now I’m shifting my focus to discover my true form,
By shedding the layers of expectations that I’ve worn
I reflect upon
The person I’ve become
I could only hope I’ve made
My younger self proud
I am an optimist
With an acquired bitter taste
Cuz I have grown so tired
Of holding everything in place
Sometimes falling down is the best part
Losing your balance can bring you some better perspective
When you hit the ground you start to fend for yourself
I’m not giving up or looking back
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Tiny Blue Ghost Kingston, New York
dream rock created by your friendly neighborhood ghosts
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